I'm not dead

I know, I know, I haven't updated this blog in forever. I'm sorry, but I just feel like I have a standard by which an experience is measured which makes it blog worthy. Nothing ever meets that standard, but if I lower it just a smidgen then I would have a tidal wave of experiences to recount. From discovering a new wine shop to finding the complete series of Frasier on DVD! (Pic. 1) In essence, I'll make a little bulleted list of things currently making me happy, things making me sad and things I'm unsure about:

Things making me happy...

• I FREAKIN' FOUND THE COMPLETE SERIES OF FRASIER ON DVD!! So, I'm now a member of Amy's DVD Emporium, which is one of the countless underground DVD stores in China. I like Amy's because the selection of TV shows is inferior to none, price and quality are good, and if a DVD sucks, you can return it to her for a refund. You don't often find black markets willing to do exchanges. I bought Frasier, Absolutely Fabulous, plus a few movies.


• I finally watched The Dead Poet's Society for the first time. I recently bought it at Amy's and watched it last night over a bottle of wine. In short, it was a little formulaic but made it's point powerfully. Luckily, I brought my Ron Clark 'Carpe Diem' stickers as well as two books on poetry with me to China. For some reason, I was ready to teach like Robin William's character before ever knowing he existed.


• I got to go to Liz's wedding, in a sense. I know I've told everyone who would listen, but the fact that Liz printed out a pic of me for the table then Watson made sure I got pictures of it was oddly about as moving as the fact that Liz actually got married. While I love China, miss the US, and long for the college days of yore I couldn't imagine enjoying much of my life without the people who are closest to me and don't share my DNA. You all know who you are and what I think about you, so if it's all the same, I'll skip the sentimentality. But it still made my day and portions of my life to see the pics.


• I found a pretentious wine shop, called Bacchus Wines, near the only decent pizza shop here. It's not too far away from my house and the prices, while in the hundreds and thousands of kuai, are pretty standard for alcohol here in China. I bought an Italian white and a Australian Merlot. One of the women who works there speaks pretty good English and was brutally honest about the wines. She actually discouraged me from buying a more expensive wine because she said it was 'a desperate attempt at class that achieved the taste of liquefied bus exhaust'. She and I got along like peas in a pod. I was going to buy a corkscrew because I broke mine opening a bottle for Dead Poet's movie night with myself. She told me not to bother and gave me a free one instead.


• I met a Junior 3 student from another school district who has English skills rivaling her independent thinking abilities. I talk to her at English Corner and I find her fascinating. She tells me about the 'mind control' that the school systems force down their throats. She's had to write another composition last week about how great China was that it came back from a major Earthquake and held the Olympics in the same year. She wanted to write about how the government should have saved the money it spent on the Olympics and used to it to fund building regulations in zones which rest on fault lines so as not to have the major loss of life sustained in the last quake. She's a god damn peach! I haven't had a chance to fully explain doublethink to her yet, but I have a feeling she'll love it. She worries that her classmates are buying into the Nationalistic tripe the schools are peddling but knows it's dangerous to ask them for obvious reasons. I gave her my e-mail address and hope to tutor her in my free time. Usually English tutors are a delicacy only had by the rich here, but I'd be willing to tutor her for free as long as she keeps fighting the intellectual fight.

Things making me sad...

• The Chinese government controls the heat in residential buildings. It's freaking freezing in my apartment and there's nothing I can do about it. The government has a schedule of when it will turn the heat on and that won't be for another week or so. In the meantime, we all bear the cold by sleeping under piles of blankets, jackets, towels and anything else able to withhold body heat. I finally broke down and bought an electric blanket. It was a little expensive, but it's well worth it. I've been sleeping better, but it's still damn cold.


• I'm not as respected by the people around me as I used to be. I play hangman with 5th graders and make enough money to obtain the alcohol needed to continue playing hangman with 5th graders without hanging myself with my belt. I hate kids. I've always hated kids. I hate teaching kids. I'm desperately anticipating next semester.


• I had my last private Chinese lesson with my very attractive bitchy yet effective teacher. Abdul and Ashley are not continuing with the classes but Ryan and I want to. My teacher gave me her number (Boosh!) to call her to set up more classes if we wanted. Ryan is a lot better than I am Chinese, and if it's just us I'm going to look especially div by comparison. There's nothing better for instilling learned helplessness faster a constant lack of measurable progress.

Things I'm unsure about...

• It's already November. I'm getting comfortable here. Too comfortable though, and it scares me. I don't want to live in China for a decade, but the reasons not to are growing smaller with each proverbial wine shop I discover and adolescent freethinker yearning for expression I meet.


• I have to meet with Jonah to renegotiate my contract for next semester. Ed basically tells me I can have the moon and stars if I ask, but Jonah gives me the impression I should keep quiet and do the work if I'm lucky enough to receive it. I need to draw a hard line with the company about my wants but I've never had to fight for a list of demands which were solely for my personal benefit. I've always been an advocate for a group or other person, which makes it easier. Plus I'm really out of practice with thinking lately.


• It's getting colder, which makes me think of Christmas. There is literally a planet size distance between me and my family. Between me and Grandma Morris, who is now in her 80s and will not live forever.


• I'm getting better at Chinese... it's just at a maddeningly lackadaisical pace. It's like being insufficient at breathing or walking. It's so essential here and I'm so bad at it.


• A lot of my personal relationships with the people here are changing in very unexpected ways. I invoke the fifth.

That was a long post after an even longer hiatus. I liked the list formula, it was easier to organize my thoughts. I may try it again in the future. In the meantime, I recommend that everyone check Facebook for the pictures which fill in the gaps I have in the blog experiences.

Cheers!